Family Recovery Learning Center

Key Takeaways Recovery is more than just being "clean" or "not using". It involves changing the addiction mindset to prevent future use. It's important for parents to strengthen their relationship with their child during recovery Recovery is not a straight line and relapse is part of the process Parents should work on their own recovery process during their child's recovery Recovery is far different from being “clean” or “not using”....

You know the feeling: When you finally see a light at the end of the tunnel for your adult child struggling with addiction. It may happen after a crisis that lands them in jail or rehab, or their current sobriety may be a choice they’ve made on their own.

As a mother, you want your child to know that you’ll always be there for them when they need it the most. But what happens when you’re all they have left? Because of their addiction, they can no longer turn to others in the family — their siblings, another parent, grandparents, aunt and uncles — who don’t understand what they’re going through or may have even cut off contact altogether.

You finally found some time and peace of mind. Which are hard things for any parent of a child struggling with addiction to find and hold onto. Your child is either in another household, with their other parent, living in another area of the country or nowhere in particular. Or maybe they are just simply out of touch.

Take a minute to think about fences. Many times these fences are created for protection; they keep pets from running away, guard your home and possessions from damage or theft, or stop unwanted visitors from entering your property.

They’re clearly visible, and those who cross these boundaries do so knowing there may be consequences — but you can unlock the gate to let in those who you trust to respect your space when you’re ready.

“Where did my life go?”
“Why do I feel so powerless?”
“What can I do to get back the relationships and life that I lost?”

It starts with the signs: Your child is using drugs or alcohol and could be addicted, and you know it. They no longer look or act like the child you raised….

There are many lessons you’ll learn during the course of parenting an adult child who is struggling with addiction. At the top of that list is understanding that there’s nothing you can do to control anyone around you. While this certainly applies first and foremost to your child, remember that addiction is a family disease. This rule of thumb can apply to anyone in your life — including your spouse.

As mothers, we inherently put so much of ourselves and our lives on hold to care for and love our children at any age — that’s just part of what I call the “Mom Code.”

While we generally tend to do this less as our kids grow into adulthood and need us less, that can change when we find ourselves figuring out the best ways to support our adult children through their addiction journey.