Why even the most dedicated moms need help when their child is addicted

Bernice – the workshop is free. My emails and blogs are free. I also have paid programs for those that want to go deeper into this work. Barbara

Hi Marion – God bless the grandmothers who are taking care of the children:) Barbara

Susan – save the link and come back and click on it when you have time. The times offered change each time you click on it and one of the options is always 5 minutes after you click.

Regina – I’m so sorry for what you are going through. It is normal to feel alone, and you are definitely not alone. There are tons of us in the same situation, unfortunately. I can help you in a variety of ways. I see that you are on my email list. Please watch my workshop and we can go from there. The link to that is on the bottom of this blog post page.

For sure, Sandy.

Hi Leah, I have quite a few students with similar situations. I can help, if you are open to a shift in thinking. On this blog, there are 2 big buttons. You get on my email list by entering your info on either one. Hope to get an opportunity to meet you and help.

Marlene – I understand that entirely. It is so easy to write and read about and then much harder to apply. I can help. There are 2 big buttons on the bottom of this blog post. Sign up for one or the other and you will start to get my emails. I have emails and have programs to solve exactly this problem. You can also check out my website (www.livewellandfully.com) and sign up there. Or just email barbara@livewellandfully.com. You don’t have to go this alone!

I’m so sorry, Joyce, for the chain of events that brought your family to this situation. Please please watch my workshop. The registration link is at the bottom of the post. I put a program together JUST for mom in situations like this – whose hearts are heavy and find it so difficult. It comes complete with a group of solution-oriented moms in similar situations to talk with. Perhaps my style will resonate with you.

Tammmy – I’m sorry for what you are dealing with. I can help you with this. Please take a listen to my workshop (the link is above on this post) or email me Barbara@LiveWellandFully.com. It is impossible to go through this alone. Barbara

Retha – I am so very sorry for your loss and YOU did not fail your son. This disease is random as far as I can see. And it is impossible to find any real pattern to which of our children make it through and which don’t. I can tell from what you wrote that you did everything you could for him, and this outcome is not your fault. I hope you can find a grief support group or someone who can help you navigate this in the weeks, months and years ahead. Again, I am so very sorry.

Thanks for your note. It is just plain exhausting trying to respond to the chaos this disease creates and figure out what to do. I encourage you to watch my workshop and then reach out if you’d like my support in changing things for yourself so that you are not always so tired. 🙂 Barbara

Hi Cynthia – I provide help to moms in this situation. Please click on the big colored workshop box at the bottom of this blog page and watch my workshop (free, confidential) and see if my style matches your need. I’d love to support you through this. -Barbara

Hi Nancy – Yes, things can change! For sure. And I have lived this life, While I would never wish addiction into anyone’s family, I must say that being forced onto this journey has led me to incredible personal growth. It has changed my life for the better in so many ways. And so I am grateful that I’ve had this opportunity to discover new ways to live my best life, even in my 60’s. I hope you find that also.

Hi Cathy,
I’m so sorry for your pain. This is a painful process for sure. And we need to grieve the loss of the child we expected to have. I do run a program for women struggling in this way and would be honored to be part of your journey of getting to a better place. Please take a listen to the workshop (last big colored box on this blog – click there to register) or email me barbara@livewellandfully.com. You don’t have to walk this path alone.

Gaylene – I’m sorry for your loss of your son, and for the loss of the daughter you would like to have. She is incorrect – you are not the reason. The disease is saying that. Your real daughter knows the truth. It’s tough to be so paralyzed with guilt. I hope you’ll consider taking a listen to my workshop (the bottom link on the page takes you there). If you like my style, my program helps moms in situations like yours. You are worth more.

Esther – Thanks so much for your note. I am so sorry for the loss of your oldest, and also that your youngest may be struggling now. I am currently in another class learning more about addiction from the viewpoint of those in recovery. One of the things I’ve learned is that when our children relapse and then start the recovery process again, they have the foundation of the things they learned while in recovery and the climb back up is not quite as steep. Hope this is also the case for your son.

And I agree that learning to set what are real boundaries (instead of what I often did which were more like wishes or fantasies) is key. When we do that, when we create boundaries focused on what we need, then we can live our OWN lives in peace (at least most of the time).

You sound like a brave solution-oriented mom, my kind of warrior-mom:)

Terry – I’m so sorry for how you are feeling and want to first ask you to please call the Suicide hotline: 800-273-8255.

And then I’d like to say that I can help you get back to you if you are a person with an open mind and willing to invest 2 1/2 hours a week for 8 weeks and use an approach I’ve built exactly for this purpose. Because I couldn’t find what I needed when I needed it either. There is a button in this blog post with a link to my workshop. So scroll up and click the big green button. The workshop itself is free and you can watch 5 min after you click the link:

I am so sorry for what you are going through AND I want to say that I know many fine families who have multiple children in this disease. And it becomes harder sometimes for them to believe that it is not their fault. And still it is NOT the parents fault.

Thanks so much for your note, Bernadette. You are welcome.

Hi Eleanor – The two often go together, for sure. And in a lot of cases, once the addiction sorts out, the mental illnesses fall away. Thanks for your note.

Hi Jennifer, Yes, enabling is anything that helps the disease exist; helps it grow. And that was hard for me also. I finally find a way to get to those decisions, based on my own priorities and considering that I matter to in the equation, without creating a situation in which my son was encouraged to remain in his disease because of my actions. I call this Love Another Way. Hop on my workshop for more about how that looks, for me:)

Thank you Judy – so great to hear that you are feeling more at peace:) You are doing a great job.

Thank you Stacy. You are a solution-oriented warrior working and I’m so delighted to know you.

Thank you Pat. I’m so impressed by how quickly you have changed the impacts this disease is having on you and your relationship with your daughter.,

Thank you, Karen – and yes you most certainly are important too! We all tend to forget that. And I’ve often said if I could have “saved” my son by losing myself entirely, I would have made that trade. The universe does not allow that type of barter though, in my experience:)

Thanks, Evelyn. That last sentence segment is powerful: “Enabling the addict is not the same thing as helping him.”

Thank you.

Thank you so much, JoAnn, and it is true that none of us can do any of this perfectly. You are working really hard at navigating some deep heartbreak.