Barbara Decker

Parent Recovery Advocate and Certified Family Recovery Specialist (CFRS)

Teaching the Love Another Way model.

So parents can encourage recovery while they regain peace in their homes and their hearts.

Moms of "children" with the disease of addiction go from 'desperate' to 'peaceful' with this approach to setting
boundaries that actually work.

I’ve spent years showing thousands of other moms how to “work miracles” with their children.
Along my journey, I’ve served with brilliant clinicians, I’ve earned professional certifications…
But my biggest (and most surprising) lessons…
...came from the pain and frustration I faced with my own addicted son.

I Did Everything I Could Think Of To 'Save' My Son, Eric 

See, I remember the calls late at night to go pick him up.
I remember the shock of realizing what my baby boy had become.
I remember crying my eyes out during the years that followed.
Desperate, DESPERATE to find anything that would help him... that would make this nightmare go away.
I could tell stories about police visits, strangers in my house, stolen belongings…
...and the worry that haunted me almost every night.
But honestly, the real pain came because I just didn’t know WHAT TO DO.
Believe me, I read everything I could get my hands on. I went to the support groups.

But they only threw out the same unhelpful and vague advice.

Stop Enabling, Set Boundaries... Well OK, But How Exactly? 

They all tell us to stop “enabling” our children and to “set boundaries.”
The problem is absolutely no one tells us HOW to actually do that.
I tried setting boundaries. I tried making rules. I tried laying down penalties - and nothing helped!
I didn’t want to enable... but I also didn’t want to abandon my child when he needed me the most.
And even though I tried and tried, nothing worked. Nothing changed. The nightmare continued.
But then a wise clinician opened my eyes.

I Discover That The Person I Need to Change Is Me

I made a huge shift in my attitude and my actions.
And I’m not exaggerating when I say it changed everything.
I finally grasped how to set boundaries that actually worked.
I was no longer facing the manipulation, the constant chaos, and the worry.
And the turning point was when I started doing the opposite of the “Mom Code.”

I Need To Stop Using My 'Mom Code'

See, the Mom Code is ingrained in all of us as mothers.
The Mom Code says we think about ourselves last. We sacrifice everything for our kids.
It’s our instinct. It’s what feels right to us. And it’s perfect for non-addicted children.
But it wasn’t working now with my son.
So instead of the Mom Code, I started focusing on myself and my own world first.
I know that sounds crazy. It may sound selfish to put it like that.
But this ended up being the most LOVING thing I could have done.
Not only did this give me back my own life, peace, and joy again…
It changed my son!
Because my son still needed my love.
He just needed to be “loved another way.”

Instead, I Need To 'Love Another Way'

Today my son has a promising career, he’s reconnected with a delightful young lady he truly loves…
...and I’m so proud of the mature and responsible man he’s become.
He is the first to say that the shift in ME… the single biggest thing that allowed HIM to choose recovery.
Let me be clear - I’m not saying that parents should be harsh.
I’m not saying we should slam the door on our kids and tell them to go away until things have changed.
What I am saying is there’s a BETTER way to love our kids than the Mom Code.
And after discovering how to love my son in the way he needed…
...I am passionate about bringing this message to the mothers of other children with this disease.

Meet Other Moms Mastering The 'Love Another Way' Formula 

That’s why I’ve put together a free confidential workshop featuring other moms who are mastering the ‘Love Another Way’ formula.
It’s an excerpt from a recent coaching call, from inside The Transformative Boundaries Experience.

That’s my Private Membership Site where us Moms get together to learn and work on everything related to loving our children (even while we hate the disease of addiction).

It’s less than an hour long and you can watch it right here, 5 minutes after you click here.

I hope you get as much out of it as we did.

Find a pocket of joy today,

P.S. I am aware that many people find great relief at Support Groups. 

If that’s you, I encourage you to continue.

And I’m also aware that I’m not the only one who left feeling incomplete and unsupported.  If that’s you, please watch this excerpt from a recent meeting inside The Transformative Boundaries Experience.
I fully believe this information is what’s missing for many families.
Mothers constantly tell me this could have saved them years of heartache.
They didn’t know peace like this was possible.
And they are surprised at the impact  the 'Love Another Way' Framework has on their children.
In fact, a few parents were recently talking to my son about how he turned his life around.
They asked what they could do to help their own children during the darkest nights.
His answer?
“Listen to my mom.”

Click [Sign Up] and join me on this free, confidential workshop where you'll discover strategies you can use now…

... to start to shift the addiction dynamic in your family.

(This is a system that parents of individuals with this disease need to master whether their child is in active addiction or currently in recovery and even if their child has mental health issues also.)

I feel better already.

Thank you! I feel better already – like there is a real possibility of getting free from some of this all-consuming worry.

Truly amazing.

This was truly amazing. I left with clarity on what I need to do next. Thank you so much for doing this.

Barbara is a Godsend.

Barbara, thank you so much for taking the time. Maybe one day I can do this also. You’re a Godsend. You are exactly what I needed today. I feel so strong. Keep doing what you are doing. You are making a difference in moms lives.

Legendary Doctor calls The Transformative Boundaries Experience
“One of the Best Healing Programs in the Nation”:

Click [Sign Up] and join me on this free, confidential workshop